MINDSET NOURISH BODY WELLBEING SELF LOVE CLUB
Self love club
WHY SELF LOVE? RECLAIM YOURSELF
Welcome beautiful to the self care hub. Everything you have been delving into throughout The Health Haven has been empowering you to live up to your true potential. To let go of the fear and doubt that we carry in our hearts and lift the constant pressure we carry on our shoulders. Losing sight of who we are and what we want happens without us even knowing, one day we feel in flow and fully aligned and then the next we have no idea of our purpose or which direction is up. For me this couldn’t speak truer for when I had my little man.
I had done so much inner work leading up until that point that I was fully unprepared for what happened next. Everyone prepares you for having a baby but no one prepares you for your journey into motherhood. All of a sudden I had this unsettling feeling deep inside that I couldn’t figure out. It wasn’t my beautiful baby or my amazing partner, it was me all of a sudden evolving into this new person that I had no idea about. My whole world changed but for some reason I struggled to keep up.
Fast track to now and I am in my element but it took a little while to grow into this new role that I literally fell into overnight. It took a whole lot of patience and self care but once I did the inner work I finally started feeling myself again.
Even if you are not a mum, I’m sure you are able to relate to this in some way. Whether it be moving to a new town, starting a new job or relationship or maybe a life event that flipped your world upside down. Rediscovering yourself can be hard but I am going to show you how I did it and how to do it with a smile on your face, coffee in one hand and yoga mat in the other. Girl, let’s get this self love club underway.
Why self love?
When life gets busy or our days get filled quickly, self care is the first thing we set aside. We make a conscious decision to put others needs before our own and attend to our needs last. Let’s be real though, by the time that time comes around we are too tired and exhausted and simply have nothing left to give, even if it’s for ourselves.
What we don’t realise is that self care is the foundation for us to live happily, healthy and function better each and everyday. Like the saying goes, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’. When you spend time doing things that make your soul happy, you can serve on a much higher level. You have more patience, you can make better choices and you can speak and do more from a loving place. This means not only you benefit but your loved ones around you.
When your children and friends see you prioritise self care, it allows them to see you in a new light. They have more respect for your time, your happiness and can even start practising themselves.
So what is self care? Self care is any activity that nurtures and refuels you on a deeper level.
When your cup is full you can live in alignment with your goals and values opening up a whole world of opportunities.
Journal prompt:
When was the last time you did something entirely for yourself?
What makes you feel totally nourished?
Close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths tuning into your body..
Now open your eyes, Do you feel there is a place for more self love? Where?
How can you start infusing more of this into your day?
So beautiful, I am giving you permission to be your own CEO of your body and life. Ensure you get what you need so you can serve, love and live from a place of fulfillment.
We often feel guilty for making time for ourselves but I want you to let go of that judgement because you are the most important person right now so be kind to yourself. Don’t forget to communicate this with your loved ones, they can’t read minds so let them know how they can best support you.
“To love yourself is more than saying I love you in the mirror, it’s accepting yourself fully, it’s taking a moment when you need one, it’s the way you speak to yourself and the way you show up each and everyday. Self love is having love within”
Self love starts with you!
We hear the term ‘self love’ or ‘self care’ all the time. We know we are supposed to do it but how many of us actually do? As a whole, we generally think of self love as us loving ourselves and doing nice things which I guess is part of it but not its foundation.
Self love goes beyond liking who you are, what you do and how you act. It’s the act of being present and attentive with yourself no matter what! It’s being radically honest with yourself and how you are feeling in every breath. It’s coming home to your TRUE nature and knowing that everything you have always needed has always been inside you, it just needed rediscovering.
There isn’t a single area in your life that isn’t touched by how you treat yourself
Journal prompt:
Is self care/love something you currently invest your time in?
How many times a week do you dedicate to self care?
What activities/rituals do you do for yourself?
Where are you putting yourself last?
What are you tolerating that you don’t want to? Why?
How would you feel if you spent more time doing things that you love that helped fill up your cup?
Self care takes action, implementation and integration but most of all your personal dedication to nourishing your mind, body and soul each and every day. If we are constantly giving to others and filling our day with things that we don’t enjoy we become resentful, moody and exhausted. This not only affects us as a person but those around us. By focusing more on relieving stress, slowing down and doing things that bring us pure joy, we are able to give from a pure state of love and happiness.
Self love foundations
ACCEPTANCE: Without acceptance there can’t be love. Try not to be hard on yourself even when the whole world seems against you. Changing your self talk is so powerful, be kind and forgive yourself like you would a friend. When you are struggling with acceptance try one of these mantras:
“ I am enough, I have enough and I do enough”
“I am love, I feel love, I give love and I recieve love”
RESPECT: The highest form of self love is to honour yourself. Have respect for your decisions, your feelings and your boundaries. Respecting yourself first allows others to honour and respect all that you do. Say yes when you mean it and no when you don’t feel like it. Most importantly, respect your time for self love.
AWARENESS: It’s little steps that create big movements. Be present with yourself each day, observe your thoughts and actions and be aware of your feelings. Writing these down or putting them in your phone is a great way to keep yourself accountable. When you feel yourself slipping away, take a deep breath and refocus.
KNOWLEDGE: Do your inner work to find out who you are and what it is you really want. Once you learn the things you didn’t know about yourself you will become more intune with yourself and your values. Ask yourself:
“What do I need to learn to be the best version of myself?”
You do not have to accept what you have been given, you are allowed to write your own story.
TRUST: Trust that you will always have yourself to come back to. Let go of control and let your life flow like water in a stream, fluidly and beautifully. Let others have their own experiences without it affecting your own. Listen to your body and trust your intuition.
The art of self love is a lifelong practice, so be easy on yourself and take one day at a time.
Learning to love yourself
Why is loving ourselves one of the hardest relationships we have? Maybe it’s because we don’t see the relationship we have with ourselves as being as important as others or maybe it’s a lack of self worth? Either way it’s time to realise that you are the most important person in your life. Yep, that’s a big call but it’s the truth. If we don't have love and respect for ourselves, how are we meant to fully love others and have others fully love and respect us in return?
Take a moment to consider a healthy relationship between a loving mother and her child. If the child is scared and crying, the mother will hold and comfort her right?
Even though the mother doesn't like when her child cries and would much prefer her to be happy and smiling, she still loves her child and provides her with undivided attention and presence.
Now think of that mother without her child. If the mother was sad and upset, her inner mean girl would show up telling her that she isn’t good enough, she is weak and that it’s all too much.
This is the difference between untamed self love and the love we often show ourselves. What we don’t realise is that our inner mean girl is like that little child crying out for attention. This is where we need to nourish the relationship we have with ourselves and instead of getting angry we need to come from a place of love and understanding just like the mother did with her child.
Developing this kind of relationship with ourselves takes time and constant awareness of our thoughts and actions. Your self love relationship will have its ups and downs like everything else, but just starting to become aware is such an incredible step in the right direction.
Journal prompt:
How often do you listen to your inner mean girl?
Does she speak the truth or speak from your fears?
Have you ever stopped and treated her like the little child in the story?
How could your thoughts and actions change if you did?
What could you say to your inner mean girl instead?
How could you become more aware of your thoughts when you feel upset? What could you do to help you move through this?
This week simply be aware of your thoughts and your feelings. When your inner mean girl pops up simply acknowledge her and show her nothing but love and understanding, guide her in the right direction of the kind words you wish to speak just like you would with that little child.
Self acceptance
Accepting yourself can be one of the most beautiful things you can do. It brings you a deep sense of gratitude and an overwhelming feeling of love and happiness. The moment you realise that you have finally got there is a freaking amazing feeling and that is what I wish for you lovely.
Journal Prompt:
When you look in the mirror who do you see? Describe this person in detail:
What feelings and thoughts first come to mind? Be raw and honest:
Are there any parts of yourself you would like to change? Why is that?
If this changed, how would your life be different?
Is this true or is it a perceived truth? Meaning something you think will make you happier:
What if you took away all the negative thoughts and feelings you had, what positive thoughts and feelings first come to mind?
How would your day start differently if you only embraced these feelings?
What is stopping you?
We all have an inner mean girl that pipes up every now and then and sometimes we still listen to her and that’s ok. It is what we choose to do with her words that matters. Firstly, don’t be upset with yourself when she voices her opinion, acknowledge her and then let it go and replace her words with a positive affirmation that aligns with those thoughts and feelings. Repeat this to yourself, feel it, believe it and respect it.
Below are some beautiful affirmations to help you boost your self confidence. Highlight the ones that resonate with you and have them close by for times of need.
Accepting yourself is also accepting your emotions. No more waiting for validation from others or for someone to like you, choose to decide right now that you are you in every single way, from your feelings to your thoughts and your actions. Own every single part of you and make it your mission to learn and grow every single day.
Accept who you are and where you are in this beautiful journey of yours and trust that everything happens for a reason. You either choose to learn and grow or shame but I know you have got this beautiful and we can learn and grow together in this increible community. With all the tools within the Health Haven and the ones to come in the following months, you have the power and knowledge to keep shining bright and blossom into the best you there had ever been.
Journal Prompt:
What are 3 things about yourself you would like to learn to accept:
1.
2.
3.
What is holding you back from accepting these?
When did this come about? What caused these beliefs?
Is this something you have held onto? Why is that?
How can you use the power of self acceptance to move forward?
List one action for each:
1.
2.
3.
Which one will you choose to implement this week?
Choose to focus on this for one week, infusing this into your daily self care. When will you dedicate time for this? Set a reminder in your phone or write it in your diary.
